Of course I must begin this piece with the black man of 2008, Barack Obama. Seriously, who'da thunk? I certainly did not expect him to make it this far. I was a classic pessimist, perpetuating the hum-drum thoughts common in social circles of color, "I shall not see a black president in my lifetime." Now, however, it seems plausible, even palpable, I can almost smell it and it smells like sweat. Not just any sweat, not funky locker room sweat, but the malodorous smell of a long and hard fought race. This is not just any race, this is a race that is not even matched by the endurance of our Kenyan brothers in marathons. It supercedes triathletes. This is a race that began on the banks of the Nile millenia ago and has culminated into the events that are unfolding today. From the pinnacle of civilization to the bowels of despair, black men have endured. This is a race only for the fittest. So I ask again, "Is this the year of the black man?" Is he returning to his throne?
Because of my interests in history and politics, I shouldn't be surprised at the possibility or the prospect. The short lived triumphs of Hiram Revels & BS Pinchback suggest greater potential. Further, they demonstrate the potency of hope and slaying of cynicism. Perhaps this is the answer to Hughes' haunting question, "What happens to a dream deferred?" I propose that each of his answers is correct. The dream of the black man has dried like a raisin, festered like a sore, stunk, crusted over, sagged, and exploded. See, it is not a simple dream. It is not a fixed goal. It is a dynamic paradox. It is giving visibility to Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man. It is giving him flesh and bone, nerves and tendons, intuitive faculty, compassion, a soul. Yet, it is a step towards the invisibility of color.
I am certainly not an Obama presidential candidate supporter, and even less of a liberal. Yet, in a perplexing, but nonetheless magnetic attraction, I support what his journey--rocky and winding--symbolizes for our black boys. It is a road covered by brush, littered with violence, fogged by litanies of self-mutilations by so-called artists of music, and washed away by feminism's assault on the family. It is the nation, collectively saying, we acknowledge your sacrifice, your committment, and our debt--your forty acres and a mule. At least, this is what it could be.
Now I propose that this may be the year of the black man not only because of Mr. Obama. I submit this proposal for The Big Three (i.e. Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, & Ray Allen) of the Boston Celtics, for winning a championship in and for a town with a long history of discrimination. I submit this proposal on behalf of Nelson Mandela, whom today celebrates his 90th birthday. I submit this proposal for Kofi Anan, former UN Chief, who despite purported corruption, maintains dignity in the fight for universal justice. I submit this proposal for Will Smith, who is arguably the most likeable and profitable actor in the world, and despite what some may think, for Clarence Thomas who represents autonomous thinking in a society that thinks that a black judge should put hue before objectivity.
And on a much more shameful note...I submit this in befuddlement and disappointment in R. Kelly's acquittal, which nonetheless begs the question, "Is 2008 the year of the black man...escaping justice?"
If this is indeed your year. Shine on black man, shine on.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Our Babies
Last Friday, I read an article on CBS News featuring one of the most horrific cases of child abuse about which I've ever read or heard. It is nothing less than sickening. Now the torture that this child endured is certainly dispicable. It is disconcerting. It literally brought me to tears and then I was incensed. This child's mother tortured and allowed her girlfriend and a third woman to repeatedly inflict pain and humiliation upon this child. A baby, a baby, a baby. I know that this case is of particular significance to me because my son is the same age. All I could envision was some pitiful excuse for a woman doing this to him. How could she?
I became so enraged, not so much because of what she did, but how long she was allowed to do it after being investigated for abusing the same child in 2005. Moreover, this child had been placed in the care of his grandmother and others who saw blatant signs of abuse, and yet told no one. The headline places the blame upon the system, however, I place blame upon citizens and family. What has become of us? How do we live with ourselves when we turn a blind eye to an abused child. The outrage following the discovery of Michael Vick's dog fighting ring was ten times more intense. That is an outright embarrassment. This is devolutionary. How does a society demonstrate more compassion for canines, vicious killer pitbulls to be specific, than it does for its own species, more importantly, the most vulnerable of its species?
I'm not letting the "system" off the hook. It certainly has significant responsibility in allowing the torture to continue for three years after the initial investigation. You should be a person of integrity, character, endurance, and extreme compassion to work in social services. Your moral compass should be so intact, so ferocious, that you could not treat an abuse case like a simple job. Where was the follow up? Why has this mother not been charged with attempted murder? Why aren't all people convicted of child abuse eligible for the death penalty?
The real issue here is not so much this one case. There have been cases even more grotesque.
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Precious Doe case. Again, the perpetrators in the crime were those given the duty by the Creator to love and protect a child. The mother's boyfriend murdered her and dumped the body in 2001. Although relatives encountered the mother and the boyfriend several times without the child after the murder, no one came forward. The body was discovered and artist renderings were featured on national broadcasts, and yet, it took years for someone to come forward. Why? Why? Why?
In the US, children are no longer valued. When you tell someone that you have children, especially more than one, you are looked at as though you have a contagious skin eating disease. People have launched websites and businesses against and/or prohibiting children. Do you not realize that you were once a child? Someone exhibited patience with you. Someone took time to guide you. Since when did it become cool to dislike children? The abuse, the light punishments for abusers--are all symptoms of a greater social and psychological problem.
One has to only look at the reaction to R Kelly verdict to see it in operation or perhaps the other case last week in which a father stomped and beat his two year old to death in the middle of an intersection. I share all of this to say that we must protect our children. We must embrace our babies for the gifts that they are. Each of us has a responsibility in this village to protect our children. For the woman who placed the anonymous call to DHS that led to the arrest of Starkeisha Brown, we thank you. You saw injustice and were compelled to act. Thank you.
If you feel compelled:
Trust Fund Information for the abused boy
Donations or contributions for this child may be sent in care of:
Michael Wrice/DCFSThe Department of Children and Family Services
501 Shatto Place Room 301
Los Angeles, CA 90020
Please make checks payable to: DCFS/Trust Fund
I became so enraged, not so much because of what she did, but how long she was allowed to do it after being investigated for abusing the same child in 2005. Moreover, this child had been placed in the care of his grandmother and others who saw blatant signs of abuse, and yet told no one. The headline places the blame upon the system, however, I place blame upon citizens and family. What has become of us? How do we live with ourselves when we turn a blind eye to an abused child. The outrage following the discovery of Michael Vick's dog fighting ring was ten times more intense. That is an outright embarrassment. This is devolutionary. How does a society demonstrate more compassion for canines, vicious killer pitbulls to be specific, than it does for its own species, more importantly, the most vulnerable of its species?
I'm not letting the "system" off the hook. It certainly has significant responsibility in allowing the torture to continue for three years after the initial investigation. You should be a person of integrity, character, endurance, and extreme compassion to work in social services. Your moral compass should be so intact, so ferocious, that you could not treat an abuse case like a simple job. Where was the follow up? Why has this mother not been charged with attempted murder? Why aren't all people convicted of child abuse eligible for the death penalty?
The real issue here is not so much this one case. There have been cases even more grotesque.
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Precious Doe case. Again, the perpetrators in the crime were those given the duty by the Creator to love and protect a child. The mother's boyfriend murdered her and dumped the body in 2001. Although relatives encountered the mother and the boyfriend several times without the child after the murder, no one came forward. The body was discovered and artist renderings were featured on national broadcasts, and yet, it took years for someone to come forward. Why? Why? Why?
In the US, children are no longer valued. When you tell someone that you have children, especially more than one, you are looked at as though you have a contagious skin eating disease. People have launched websites and businesses against and/or prohibiting children. Do you not realize that you were once a child? Someone exhibited patience with you. Someone took time to guide you. Since when did it become cool to dislike children? The abuse, the light punishments for abusers--are all symptoms of a greater social and psychological problem.
One has to only look at the reaction to R Kelly verdict to see it in operation or perhaps the other case last week in which a father stomped and beat his two year old to death in the middle of an intersection. I share all of this to say that we must protect our children. We must embrace our babies for the gifts that they are. Each of us has a responsibility in this village to protect our children. For the woman who placed the anonymous call to DHS that led to the arrest of Starkeisha Brown, we thank you. You saw injustice and were compelled to act. Thank you.
If you feel compelled:
Trust Fund Information for the abused boy
Donations or contributions for this child may be sent in care of:
Michael Wrice/DCFSThe Department of Children and Family Services
501 Shatto Place Room 301
Los Angeles, CA 90020
Please make checks payable to: DCFS/Trust Fund
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Random Acts of Rudeness
Each day someone says something that exemplifies my grandmother's adage, "more nerve than sense". Though, I may not always display tact, I seldom fail to demonstrate good manners. I was reared to know that there are some things that you should not say. The best example of such a circumstance is that which my dear friend and partner in petiteness shared with me.
A coworker, with whom my friend had been working for over a year entered the work restroom at the same time as she. As my friend entered the stall, the coworker asked if her if she was a midget. Now if you know my friend, you can only imagine the expletives that spewed from her mouth. (One of my taller friends refers to this as a classic symptom of "Little Lady Disease".) I share this with you to ask, is this not rude? Is this not offensive? Further, is it also not offensive to state upon seeing someone, "You are short", ? Perhaps, rude is the wrong word, but stating the obvious certainly does not demonstrate astuteness or gentility.
Because I am petite and sweet, I get these comments often, usually at a second or third meeting when I am caught out of my requisite stilettos. I still fail to get the relevance. I can only attribute it to rudeness or perhaps projections of insecurities.
For those of you who can not resist the urge to inform me of my height, I must thank you. For were it not for you, I would continue shopping for tall clothing and then spending outrageous sums for hem alterations. Additionally, you have also given me the evidence needed by the DMV to have my height updated from 5'9". All of this due to a few deft, albeit, rude observers. The random acts of rudeness don't end there. There are always those exceptionally rude people who love to loudly announce the enormous acne cyst on your forehead. Yes, these are my favorite people. Thank you. I managed to put on mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and blush without looking in the mirror today. Thus, I wouldn't have noticed it had I not encountered you.
Well, to counter these seemingly random acts of rudeness and restore balance to the world, I propose that we respond in kind. The next time you encounter one of these imbeciles, try this response. "Oh my, you're fat." Or perhaps, "You sure are ugly." "My your nose is large." There can't be double standards in rudeness. If calling attention to obvious traits is the best these people can muster, then I say, if you can't teach them [manners], insult them. Perhaps paying forward these random acts of rudeness will serve the world as much, if not more than random acts of kindness.
A coworker, with whom my friend had been working for over a year entered the work restroom at the same time as she. As my friend entered the stall, the coworker asked if her if she was a midget. Now if you know my friend, you can only imagine the expletives that spewed from her mouth. (One of my taller friends refers to this as a classic symptom of "Little Lady Disease".) I share this with you to ask, is this not rude? Is this not offensive? Further, is it also not offensive to state upon seeing someone, "You are short", ? Perhaps, rude is the wrong word, but stating the obvious certainly does not demonstrate astuteness or gentility.
Because I am petite and sweet, I get these comments often, usually at a second or third meeting when I am caught out of my requisite stilettos. I still fail to get the relevance. I can only attribute it to rudeness or perhaps projections of insecurities.
For those of you who can not resist the urge to inform me of my height, I must thank you. For were it not for you, I would continue shopping for tall clothing and then spending outrageous sums for hem alterations. Additionally, you have also given me the evidence needed by the DMV to have my height updated from 5'9". All of this due to a few deft, albeit, rude observers. The random acts of rudeness don't end there. There are always those exceptionally rude people who love to loudly announce the enormous acne cyst on your forehead. Yes, these are my favorite people. Thank you. I managed to put on mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and blush without looking in the mirror today. Thus, I wouldn't have noticed it had I not encountered you.
Well, to counter these seemingly random acts of rudeness and restore balance to the world, I propose that we respond in kind. The next time you encounter one of these imbeciles, try this response. "Oh my, you're fat." Or perhaps, "You sure are ugly." "My your nose is large." There can't be double standards in rudeness. If calling attention to obvious traits is the best these people can muster, then I say, if you can't teach them [manners], insult them. Perhaps paying forward these random acts of rudeness will serve the world as much, if not more than random acts of kindness.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Truth About Weddings
I shared the fact that I abhor weddings with a friend and she was shocked. I was shocked that she was shocked. This doesn't shock most of my friends as they fundamentally agree at their cores. Most are just afraid to offend. One of my good friends married and I thanked her for not asking me to be in it. She said she knew not to ask because I declined a relative's invitation to be in her wedding just a couple of months prior. She [the relative] was perturbed with me for months. I love my family and friends dearly, but I really loathe weddings. They symbolize too many themes and notions of insecurities, selfishness, and materialism. Brides typically demonstrate little if any regard for the finances, time, or committments of others all under the proclamation of the trite adage "It's MY day."
As for my wedding, I didn't want one and were it not for my husband, wouldn't have had one. Nonetheless, as my first act of pre-marital compromise, I surrendered to an intimate ceremony which lasted an appropriate 15 minutes (and started on time). I plan to beg my daughter not to indulge in a wedding, but if she does, it will be one of two that I'll attend (my son's included). I find weddings, in their contemporary forms to be boring fests of self absorption, over indulgence, excess, and waste. Why not invest the money? Perhaps a down payment for a home? A charitable contribution? Something with enduring presence is all that I ask. If one must have a wedding, I really prefer small intimate settings. The most beautiful wedding I can recall was that of John F Kennedy Jr & Caroline Bessette. It was a beautiful ceremony in a small SC church illuminated by candles. There were not 30 bridesmaids and groomsmen, no long winded singers--all the things that scream ostentatious. It was about the union of man and woman. That is beautiful. It was perfection, especially in light of their celebrity status and wealth. They chose each other instead of catering to the now traditional parade of psuedo wherewithal for others.
Regardless of what brides may like to believe, no one wants to attend your wedding except you and perhaps your mother. Guests, like at funerals, will always find something wrong. Contemporary weddings only serve as gossip among professional and family cliques alike. Even worse, they now become viral videos, emails, and comedic features on late night talk shows. I'm not all talk either. I have declined invitations to several weddings with this honest explanation. Some took offense, others appreciated my sincerity.
Please don't misconstrue my message. I love to witness ceremonial committment. I do not like delusions of grandeur posing as love. In this world of excess, less is truly more.
Please take a peak, others share my pain.
wowowow.com
As for my wedding, I didn't want one and were it not for my husband, wouldn't have had one. Nonetheless, as my first act of pre-marital compromise, I surrendered to an intimate ceremony which lasted an appropriate 15 minutes (and started on time). I plan to beg my daughter not to indulge in a wedding, but if she does, it will be one of two that I'll attend (my son's included). I find weddings, in their contemporary forms to be boring fests of self absorption, over indulgence, excess, and waste. Why not invest the money? Perhaps a down payment for a home? A charitable contribution? Something with enduring presence is all that I ask. If one must have a wedding, I really prefer small intimate settings. The most beautiful wedding I can recall was that of John F Kennedy Jr & Caroline Bessette. It was a beautiful ceremony in a small SC church illuminated by candles. There were not 30 bridesmaids and groomsmen, no long winded singers--all the things that scream ostentatious. It was about the union of man and woman. That is beautiful. It was perfection, especially in light of their celebrity status and wealth. They chose each other instead of catering to the now traditional parade of psuedo wherewithal for others.
Regardless of what brides may like to believe, no one wants to attend your wedding except you and perhaps your mother. Guests, like at funerals, will always find something wrong. Contemporary weddings only serve as gossip among professional and family cliques alike. Even worse, they now become viral videos, emails, and comedic features on late night talk shows. I'm not all talk either. I have declined invitations to several weddings with this honest explanation. Some took offense, others appreciated my sincerity.
Please don't misconstrue my message. I love to witness ceremonial committment. I do not like delusions of grandeur posing as love. In this world of excess, less is truly more.
Please take a peak, others share my pain.
wowowow.com
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