Random Acts of Rudeness

Each day someone says something that exemplifies my grandmother's adage, "more nerve than sense". Though, I may not always display tact, I seldom fail to demonstrate good manners. I was reared to know that there are some things that you should not say. The best example of such a circumstance is that which my dear friend and partner in petiteness shared with me.

A coworker, with whom my friend had been working for over a year entered the work restroom at the same time as she. As my friend entered the stall, the coworker asked if her if she was a midget. Now if you know my friend, you can only imagine the expletives that spewed from her mouth. (One of my taller friends refers to this as a classic symptom of "Little Lady Disease".) I share this with you to ask, is this not rude? Is this not offensive? Further, is it also not offensive to state upon seeing someone, "You are short", ? Perhaps, rude is the wrong word, but stating the obvious certainly does not demonstrate astuteness or gentility.

Because I am petite and sweet, I get these comments often, usually at a second or third meeting when I am caught out of my requisite stilettos. I still fail to get the relevance. I can only attribute it to rudeness or perhaps projections of insecurities.

For those of you who can not resist the urge to inform me of my height, I must thank you. For were it not for you, I would continue shopping for tall clothing and then spending outrageous sums for hem alterations. Additionally, you have also given me the evidence needed by the DMV to have my height updated from 5'9". All of this due to a few deft, albeit, rude observers. The random acts of rudeness don't end there. There are always those exceptionally rude people who love to loudly announce the enormous acne cyst on your forehead. Yes, these are my favorite people. Thank you. I managed to put on mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and blush without looking in the mirror today. Thus, I wouldn't have noticed it had I not encountered you.

Well, to counter these seemingly random acts of rudeness and restore balance to the world, I propose that we respond in kind. The next time you encounter one of these imbeciles, try this response. "Oh my, you're fat." Or perhaps, "You sure are ugly." "My your nose is large." There can't be double standards in rudeness. If calling attention to obvious traits is the best these people can muster, then I say, if you can't teach them [manners], insult them. Perhaps paying forward these random acts of rudeness will serve the world as much, if not more than random acts of kindness.