Grammar Lesson

If I hear one more imbecile use myself incorrectly I'll lose it. So many idiots really believe that they demonstrating their intelligence when they use the word myself as a subjective pronoun. The rule is simple. If the word myself is not used to intensify a properly used noun or pronoun, or to reflect one, it is being used incorrectly. Let me simplify this. You, hopefully, wouldn't say, "Myself walked to the store". Therefore, it is equally inappropriate to say, "Sam and myself walked to the store." Yet, seemingly intelligent people say this everyday. I've corrected my manager and other managers several times when using this grammar faux pas. Nonetheless, these simpletons, many "Ivy League" educated lack the discernment to grasp this simple concept.

Unfortunately, this isn't the only egregious act committed against grammar. Many people seem to have difficulty with subject-verb agreement. If I read one more newspaper headline with the words "One in Five Men Are...", I'll scream. Again, this is simple. One is the subject; in five men is the prepositional phrase which is not to be considered with respect to verb choice. Here is another example. "The couple were...", this too is incorrect because any group (e.g. team, quartet, Congress) functions as a singular subject and therefore requires a singular verb. Although many scientific texts will use data in a similar fashion, I must disagree with those as well. Data, by definition, is a collective group of information; and because it is a group, should function as a singular subject.

I agree with my mother, this all goes back to education, particularly, the fact that sentence diagramming is no longer performed in grade school. Grammar is not taught in school. Literature is favored in hopes that children will acquire grammar knowledge by reading. It doesn't get more backwards than this folks. This is like teaching algebra to first graders before introducing the basic concepts of math. No wonder other nations outperform us.