Calling Names

Believe me when I tell you, I am in staunch opposition to any and everyone who chooses to burden their child with what I call a ghetto name. Perhaps the PC terminology for such a name would be a socio-economically identifiable name. Please do not misunderstand or misconstrue my point. I am completely in favor of individuality and uniqueness. Further, I am a proponent of ethnic and culturally distinct names, that is when they truly have meaning and some connection with cultural ancestry and ancestry does not include the tendencies of the last thirty years to go straight “hood” when selecting a name for your offspring. This has long been my opinion, in strong opposition to my husband who has long told me that I am just supercilious. Of course I denied such hurtful and unjustifiable allegations until recently. Last month, I had an epiphany. I was in the company of some women who have very urban tendencies in dress, speech, hair styles, and behavior. I have long argued with my husband that these people must know that they look and are perceived in a certain light which to much of America is considered ghetto. Of course, he always countered with this is all that they know and that to them there is nothing wrong with their behavior or style. For years I ignored his rants until last month when I was alone with some of these people and for whatever reason unarmored with my TRUTH and social responsibility. As I sat and listened, more observant than judgmental, I witnessed the phenomenon of unabashed ignorance in play. There was one little girl the same age as my daughter and the ladies complimented her mother’s hair styling technique, which in my eyes and my conditioning was excessively adorned with various colors of barrettes none of which matched her red and white clothing. I was shocked, appalled, and ashamed. I was ashamed of my own ignorance. In my mind I questioned them first. Why had they not complimented on my daughter’s hair? After all, she had only one color of barrettes which matched the hair balls and her clothing and the maximum four pony tails. My first thought, jealousy; and truth be told, I still feel that there was indeed a tinge of that present. Then, I began to question myself. Could I have been wrong all of these years? Had these people not seen Clair Huxtable? Moreover, had they not encountered women like her or the children like Rudy and Olivia from the Cosby show? Then it struck me; they hadn’t. They watch the “Parkers” and shows like them which I detest. They just didn’t know any better and neither did I of their world. So now you ask, what does this have to do with the socio-economically identifying names that you mentioned at the beginning of your op-ed? Further, what names are these and what makes them socio-economically identifiable? Well, this was the moment of clarity for me that lead me to a deeper understanding of what motivates people of lower socio-economic backgrounds to engage in such behavior. I believe that this phenomenon is for the most part exclusive to those of lower socio-economic status, hence, I use the term socio-economically identifiable because most of the Keishas, Tanishas, LaQuindrinicas, DeMarios, LaQuandres, and the like are from poorer backgrounds.

Even so, it is time for me to cease the name calling and start listening. There is a great deal of power in naming and name calling. When you bring a child into this world the moment is both humbling and empowering. What you do at that moment gives direction for the rest of your child’s life. Not very long ago, our ancestors were stripped of our own names, history, culture, and the right of naming our progenies. So I asked myself, “is this the backlash?” Are we rebelling sub-consciously and irrationally? My background in consumer psychology screams yes. Further, I see correlation in other behaviors of the socio-economically deprived, such as in the clothing and hair styling. The under-privileged are destitute of money, status, and power. However, there is that single moment, that creativity inspiring event of bestowing a name upon your offspring that ignites something within the poor that unfortunately threatens to relegate your child to a life time of struggle and deprivation. These are the names with hyphenation, accent marks, and case combinations. They are often extremely multi-syllabic and puzzling to even the most seasoned educators. Now, I am not speaking of the Samirahs, the Jabrils, Jamals, or the Kelanis. This is about the Quantinnettes, Shunnekitas, Quindrinicus, and LaQuans. I know that some of you reading this are just like my husband and you believe that I am arrogant or like some say about Bill Cosby’s opinions on the same topic, out of touch. Perhaps, but I also confront such attacks with the same notion that these parents too, are out of touch and even arrogantly ghetto fabulous. Recent studies have shown that regardless of education and qualifications, resumes with these names are often tossed aside in favor of Jennifer, Kelly, Jason, or Brandon. Is it right? Of course not. Is it legal? Well, it is definitely discriminatory, but the burden of proving discrimination like the burden of those names is tremendous.

I believe in the freedom of speech and privacy. However, I challenge these parents to think long and hard of the ramifications of these names on not only their child’s school years, but their professions, lives, and the well being of their children’s offspring. I have acquaintances and best friends with these names. Each of them has on numerous occasions encountered various struggles and unintentional name calling. Nonetheless, they persevere. I applaud them, for I am busy fighting the other battles of being a black female in America. We, gave our daughter a Hawaiian name, but with only two syllables and gave our son a European inspired name, but with an atypical spelling. So, I obviously believe in creativity and freedom, but with forethought when it comes to names. I have suggested a hospital board comprised of teachers, who after all will have the awesome task of pronouncing these names daily when these children enter school, This board would accept and reject name submissions of new parents. I propose that the names must be accepted before approving the birth certificate. I know the ACLU would come gunning for me, but this is my idea. Again, my husband says, I just don’t get it. Nonetheless, I have learned something about the prevalence of ignorance within our culture and more importantly, within me. So, I argue that this may be a result of the powerless, rebelling against the power structure or more simply stated, a struggle for identity, worth, and recognition. Naming is a privilege and an honor, not simply a right.