I've had this conversation with my girlfriends before. I am unable to grasp why women, particularly women with money and power seem to care not for the appearance of their hair (Oprah excluded). This is not exclusive to the wealthy. There are several women that I know rather well who leave their homes looking like who did it and why. Trifling is the word commonly used in social circles of color. I am refraining from being more specific as I truly value these relationships and I've learned that women wear their feelings on their hair.
A fellow co-worker lives near me and is also a client of my hair care professional. We were discussing what cut backs we were making in our lives due to higher prices for goods and services. More specifically, we were having this conversation because we live about 35 miles from the salon. We both agreed (because we faithfully visit the shop every 1-2 weeks) that our hair appointments would be the last to go. I've considered cutting back on meals because my hair care is a necessity not a luxury.
What I'm unable to fathom is why most if not all women do not feel this way. There are some women with whom I'm very close, who couldn't care less about their hair. Getting it done only for touch-ups is the norm. WTF!! Are you kidding me? Then they wonder why it looks a mess, proclaiming we have different kinds of hair. Sloppy pony tails, three inches of split ends, and all sorts of damage on the heads of women driving Mercedes and carrying $800 purses. Like my mother says, "Bad hair can ruin the baddest outfit." I couldn't agree more. Please help me understand. I also have another conundrum involving this bad hair affair. Why are women more loyal to length than healthy hair? Everyday I see women with six or seven strands of hair down their back while the rest is "ate out" in the words of my stylist. Why? Why? These women are never admired except by other women with the same "ate out" look. I am much more complimentary of a cute pixie cut or tight bob than some ragged mop. Yet women can't seem to break the hair affair.
Let's take Condoleezza Rice for example. Granted, she has improved since first emerging on the political scene, but homegirl is still rocking what appears to be a press and curl. Seriously, we learned a decade ago that grease is not necessary to straighten nappy roots. Is she still going to her childhood stylist? There is also Gayle King who is clearly wigging or weaving out. I love good wigs and give props to any woman rocking a tight weave, but Gayle's is just heavy and artificial looking. Is not the point to look authentic?
Also, why do women rock the same style for decades? You know who you are. As the rule says, if you haven't been complimented on your hair in the last six months; it is time for a change. I have an idea of the root of one of these problems. There are those of you out there who compliment all women with long hair even when it looks a hot mess. It could be split root to tip, fried, dyed, and laid to the side, but as long as it has length, you'd compliment. Please stop now. These women look haggardly. Perhaps it goes back to that old adage, "misery loves company". Well at least my girls: TL, VM, JD, CR, and VA are right by the head. I wouldn't hang with them if it were any other way.
3 comments:
You know I was going to leave a comment about this... I think we've had this conversation as well. My coworkers used to ask me why I packed my lunch everyday, my reply: "because I wear my lunch on my head". Yes!!! I'll admit it, I brown bag, even with my pay raise, everyday to get my hair done, once a week or so, and don't see the problem with it. People say I'm crazy, and I could spend my money on better things, but I disagree. And yes, these are the same people who sport kitchen do's. I wholeheartedly belive that your hair can mess up an outfit, we've all seen it, and for those who have done it, shame on you! You see a woman dressed to the T, from toe to neck, then you roll up on her hair and it's jacked. I think you need to start giving out tickets, one side used as the offense, and the other the name and number of your stylist, as a referral.
I want to jump in here. I can answer the question that is being asked. I moved from a very large and booming city to a city that sent me back 15 years in the past. Back home I always had a smoking salon do. However, I have had a very difficult time finding a stylist that can pass let alone compete with the stylist back home. I have had the worst experiences. I have been given bad perms, stylist have burned my ears with chemical until ooze, and a trim turns into a 2 1/2 cut. So many stylist here do not believe in styling. I do not consider a bump under a style. Maybe this is why so many women look like they have a kitchen due. After so many attempts I have given up. I would rather rock a pony tail then let some of these crazy stylist jack me up further. You do not know who they are until it is too late. I am not saying all stylist here are bad. it is just you have no idea who is good. It would be great if they wore signs to this fact.
Here is a solution. Maybe every city should have a book of technique and knowledge approved stylist. They would have to pass hair tests and challenges to have their name admitted to the list. This would help women that move from other states and know no one to do a good job on their hair. I also believe that if there were better stylist out there or we knew who they were, more women would be happy to go. The one thing about your childhood stylist is, you know she will do no physical harm to you!!!!!!
kay, I understand your perspective, but my point is that nothing is going to get in the way of me getting and keeping this hair right. I made the mistake of dropping into a shop here thinking b/c it is ATL it wouldn't be a problem. Homegirl was from B'ham and did me dirty. Another chick was still wrapping hair around the head wet. I hadn't seen that since 1994 so I bounced out of there too. I asked people at work whose hair looked good and that is how I found Alia. It was hard b/c I am very attached to Anthony, but she is all about health so it's all good. I'm not so much concerned with trimming 2 1/2 inches if it is damaged. It just needs to look good and damaged hair never looks good. There are some good stylists back home. Anthony has moved now, but he was in the top five, but he didn't play games and didn't do gel and all of the PHDs. If it was damaged and you didn't want it cut, you had to roll on out. I appreciated it b/c you are marketing for him if you look a mess and tell someone he did it. I'm saying all of this again to say that my body is my temple and it includes my hair and if it ain't right then I ain't right. I have to put my best face and hair forward if that means stopping somebody in the store to ask for their stylists phone number, I'm not beyond that. It's not vanity, it is a testament of my character.
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