I Have Converted...

to anti corporal punishment in our home. Truth be told, I came to this conclusion some time ago after reading an article in Parenting Magazine which highlights a study conducted as to which characteristics are most common among parents who spank. They were (and I do not recall the order): being baptist, being black, being southern, and being of a lower socio-economic status. Well, I'm certainly a southern girl. My race is debatable (because race does not biologically exist nor is my hue actually black though I'll use it from time to time to keep it simple--a topic for another post). I'm certainly not baptist (don't subscribe to religion at all, again another time another post). I'm not of a lower socio-economic status, at least I didn't think I was before the dollar started losing value. Perhaps I'll win my petition to be paid in Euros at work, but I digress.

I've never been an avid spanker. I would tap the children's hands when they placed themselves in precarious situations. My mother never spanked me; though my grandmother got me twice. So I'm one of apparently the few people of color who has no perception of extension cords, switches, etc. I'd say I'm the better for it. So anyway, I'm reading this article and suddenly a light comes on and it clicks...the connection between whipping/spanking and slavery. Then I start conjecturing all of these hypotheses that blacks (just an easier term for laymen) remain inferior because of their clinging to rituals of slavery. Moreover, that we hold our children as slaves and reduce their free thinking, positive risk taking, and courage by replacing it with fear. To allude to Dubois, a black man will carve a back door in a dwelling if none exists for he knows it is his place to remain in an inferior position. So, I believe that whippings in many ways perpetuate this.

Now, it is one thing to conceptualize an idea or belief; it is a mutually exclusive endeavor to practice, truly, one's beliefs (just think about how superstitious blacks are, yet they claim to believe in Xianity). So now I arrive at that point of truly merging my belief with my practice. I refrained from all spanking a year and a half ago, opting to use the corner. My husband has not adopted my perception and does not practice it. Though spanking is a last resort. Well, the other day, one of the children arrived at that resort and I was in the kitchen--within eye and earshot of the punishment. It really hurt me to my core. For the first time, I was able to completely conceptualize and internalize my belief. It had come full circle. I only saw fear resonate from within my child and a willingness to acquiesce simply to arrive at peace. I saw Kunta as his new name was beaten into his facade, never into his soul. However, how is the typical child able to withstand the penetration of fear into the soul? How is the average child able to inhibit fear from passing the surface with the thought of continuing to persevere without fear? I don't think the goal of punishment, at least for me, is submission. It is to impart self control, wisdom, and intellect. It is to challenge my children to display their fervor through productive outlets creatively instead of destructively. Thus, I pledge to do as my mother has with me. I plan to guide our children in the more appropriate direction while respecting their individuality and more importantly their spirts. I don't ever want to be responsible for inadvertently perpetuating fear and intimidation. I want fearless zealots. So, I pledge to my progenies to continue seeking alternatives to corporal punishment. More specifically, I pledge to implement cerebral enhancements.