The N word

I have so tired of this debate. It seems to never end. This happens to be one of those topics on which my husband and I disagree. I'm sure you all are aware of the perpetually unfolding Jesse Jackson debacle. It has led to more conversations on the morning show circuit regarding the infamous N word. None seems to have been as heated as The View's conversation in which one of the hostesses breaks into tears.

First, whatever happened to "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? My mother always says you can't control what people think or say about you so why waste the energy. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't care less who says the N word white, black, Chinese, or Sudanese. It is a word. I could care less about its inherent meaning, its history, or its intracultural meaning. Again, it is a word. If a white person says it to me in an endearing or deragatory manner, it doesn't matter. I'm sure people have called me far worse names and guess what, my heart hasn't skipped a beat, I haven't lost one wink of sleep and I'll continue this way until I die of something which is actually deadly.

As I said earlier, my husband disagrees. He, as does apparently Whoopi, believes that it is acceptable or rather appropriate for blacks to use this word among themselves. Hmm, I wonder if he and his cohorts feel the same if a Latin American uses it, but I digress. I strongly believe that it is irresponsible to make attempts to have it both ways. Either it's a bad word or it isn't. I wasn't taught that the F word is a good word when adults use it. It is and always has been a bad word. Why can't blacks accept accountability for using a bad word or release it as a newly ordained good word?

This is no different than the Imus alleged outrage. Each and every one of you knows that you have called someone a nappy headed garden tool. Heck, many of you called the Rutger's female basketball team that before, during, and after the alleged insult. You are still using that term or a similar one to refer to people now. How can you have a problem with one person saying it and not another? That speaks to some serious integrity issues.

It is what it is. Or perhaps Bill Clinton said it best, "It depends on what the word is is."